I am a superhero movie fan. Why? Because I’ve seen so many I sometimes can’t remember all of the ones I’ve seen. I’m talking watching even the crappiest ones like Elektra and I even tried to watch Green Lantern (I didn’t make it very far.)

I have even watched all of the DCEU movies (Man of Steel, Batman vs. Superman, Justice League, Wonder Woman, The Suicide Squad, Wonder Woman 1984, Shazam!, Aquaman, and Birds of Prey.) My top three are Shazam!, Man of Steel, and Wonder Woman. The rest fall into a pack of not-so-great-superhero-movies with Aquaman just edging out the others as an every-once-in-the-while film.

I went into Zack Snyder’s Justice League expecting it to be better than Whedon’s cut. It was…and that is about it. Snyder’s version is four hours of bloated, testerone-inspired superhero nonsense that left me still confused by the end of the movie even though we supposedly got two extra hours of content to make the story easier to follow.

So, because I have a lot to say I’m going to break this review into pros and cons. And of course, we will take the cons head on first.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

The Characters I Didn’t Like

Steppenwolf is back and still wack, only now he’s shiny, prickly, and got dewy eyes to make him a bit more of a sympathetic character I guess. Instead, he turns out looking more like a spoiled brat poking their lip out for most of his exposition scenes while being clad in this ridiculous armor that just doesn’t feel right.

There’s more Cyborg in this movie…a lot more…but it doesn’t really add depth to the film. In fact, with more Cyborg on the screen it gives the viewer more time to analyze how bad the CGI was done for his body. I mean some parts just look bad. And I personally don’t think Ray Fisher is that good of an actor.

Batman was great in Batman vs. Superman but he doesn’t exactly feel like the leader of this mega-hero team. He’s just the guy who has the gadgets and the planes and doesn’t really have a stake in the story like the others do. Plus, he didn’t get any massive extended moments that helped flesh his character out that much. I love Batfleck but he felt a bit lost in this movie if I’m being honest.

The Slow Pace

When I found out the Snyder Cut was going to be four hours long I had a bad feeling and sure enough what I figured came to pass. There are long movies. Just look at The Lord of the Rings trilogy, a cinematic masterpiece with three movies that all reach three hours in length…and the extended editions are each an hour longer. And yet the story is so massive that the pacing for the films never feel wrong or overstuffed. It’s the only way to make those kind of stories good.

Superhero movies are not meant to be four hours long. The longest superhero film used to be Avengers: Endgame which comes up to a whopping three hours but it feels warranted with a massive story that has to be resolved properly. It’s The Lord of the Rings event of superhero movies. Justice League isn’t.

So what happens when you take a two hour movie and stretch it to four hours? You get lots of slow motion, slowly paced scenes that feel drawn out for no particular reason, and just scenes in general that add no value whatsoever to the actual film other than to keep wasting time.

A fine example I’d like to choose is a scene featuring Barry Allen.

Barry is trying to get a job at a pet store and while going into the pet store he bumps into this pretty girl (it’s Iris West by the way, his comic book love interest who will actually appear in The Flash movie.) She looks at him and smiles, he’s clearly infatuated but the moment of attraction is over. About a minute later she’s driving and gets hit by a truck in her convertible. Of course, he goes to rescue her but why this particular scene is so drawn out is how long the rescue actually takes.

The slow motion is extreme, the fact that he’s so fast he can stand just still and watch people flying through the air gives him a chance to gawk at the pretty girl in danger for far too long. And then the scene is over but one is left wondering why it took so long.

This happens over and over in the movie. A scene is interesting and then it is either bogged down by slow motion or just slow talking.

Because of that, halfway through the film I started to lose interest and forget what the heck was happening. And even the action scenes didn’t turn out to be that fantastic.

Pointless Additions

Martian Manhunter. Yes…that guy is in the movie. Why? For absolutely no reason at all. It’s stuff like that that made me just sit back and say, “What?” I found myself saying that quite a bit toward the end of the film.

Oh man, I could say so much more about this film and the things that I didn’t like but I still have to process what the heck I just watched. So, here’s to the pros.

Wonder Woman Is Awesome Again

I love Wonder Woman. She was fantastic in Batman vs. Superman and was once again allowed to shine in this movie and boy did she shine. Her opening sequence was so bad*** that I was pretty much freaking out.

And she got some other pretty fun moments in the movie overall. In fact, so did all of the Amazons. I loved her in this film and I’m so glad that she’s getting another chance to shine in another solo flick.

I Like The Flash Now

All I knew about The Flash was that he could run fast so to find out he can turn back time! Wow, my mind was blown. Barry Allen was great in this movie and now I actually really, really like this character and am very excited about his standalone movie.

It Was Better Than Justice League

They took out a lot of stuff that made the original Justice League so bad including Cyborg saying, “Booyah.” Thank goodness!!!! And they got rid of the Wonder Woman butt shots, Flash fondling Diana Prince that one time, and that awkward scene that I don’t like watching where Diana is helping Bruce Wayne with one of his injuries when he’s got his shirt off and it’s sexually tense. I’m so glad they got rid of that scene.

But they unfortunately took out one of my favorite comic book movie lines, “Pet cemetary.” If you know what I’m talking about you’ll get it.

All in all, Zack Snyder’s Justice League is here and it will entertain plenty of people but because I’m not that into DC mythology or the tone of these particular superhero movies. I guess I’m pretty much a Marvel person.

I’ll give this movie 83 out of 100 and 4 out of 5 stars.

I thank you for reading and I hope you have a great day.