Ranking the Eternals

Well, considering that I already wrote my spoiler-free review yesterday it’s time to rank the Eternals. This is going to be fun!

10. Sprite

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Lia McHugh does a decent job bringing Sprite, this almost fairytale-like character who never ages, to life but unfortunately, I never found much love for her as a character. In fact, after a while, she started to kind of get on my nerves so…

9. Kingo

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I thought Kingo was going to be one of my favorite characters but honestly, he wasn’t. He was definitely the primary source of comic relief in the film and I liked his “finger guns” but there was something about Kumail Nanjiani’s performance that came off a little forced. It was almost like even he couldn’t believe he was getting the chance to play a rad Bollywood star alien superhero and you could feel that in his portrayal of the character.

8. Phastos

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I really wanted to love Phastos but he was a bit of a boring character. He had some really awesome moments that had me smiling but overall he was just there for the ride.

7. Sersi

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Before I watched the movie she was my favorite Eternal. After the movie…well you see where she ended up. I wanted to be a Sersi fan but she seemed so overwhelmed by the circumstances as if she hadn’t been living for 7000 years that after a while she began to become a little annoying.

She seemed to have roughly one expression the entire movie and even at the end, instead of rooting for her, I was just watching.

6. Ajak

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I loved Ajak in this film. She was powerful, benevolent, and she felt like such a protector in this movie to her fellow Eternals. I wish she had more of a presence in the film but I loved every moment with her and I’m so glad they got Salma Hayek to play her.

5. Druig

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I thought Druig was going to be a more villainous type but I absolutely loved his story. Seeing his story evolve as he watches humanity over the centuries was really fascinating and honestly, I couldn’t blame him for any of the choices he made. Plus, I think his outfit is really cool too.

4. Ikaris

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Ah, Ikaris, the dashing hero who is every bit that guy you root for. I really liked Ikaris and the way he was handled in this film. Even though I don’t know much about the comics there was always something incredibly powerful and stoic about the character based on the art drawn for him. And boy did Chloe Zhao give Ikaris plenty of chances to shine in so many different ways.

3. Gilgamesh

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I knew I was going to like Gilgamesh ever since I saw Don Lee’s performance in Train to Busan and sure enough, I was right. Gilgamesh was so cool and his smile could light up a room. I’m going to need a Gilgamesh Funko Pop asap.

2. Makkari

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Makkari, Makkari, MAKKARI! Oh, I love her so much. I love that she’s deaf but it’s not a big deal. I love how they showcased her superspeed. I loved Lauren Ridloff in the role as Makkari. And I just love her! I’m also going to need a Funko Pop of her as well.

And 1. Thena

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Angelina Jolie just made Thena my new favorite female hero in the MCU. She’s so powerful and fierce yet beautiful and grace at the same time. I loved how Chloe Zhao found a way to make her a TOTAL BAD*** while also providing her a vulnerability that left me really feeling for her and her beautiful relationship with Gilgamesh. Basically, I’m going to need Funko Pops of my top 3 Eternals.

Who’s your favorite Eternal? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

I thank you for reading and I hope you have a fantastic day.

2 thoughts on “Ranking the Eternals”

  1. I think there were too many characters, but the actors did a good job giving them distinct personalities. I’m not going to deny this is the ultimate box-checking movie, as far as political correctness is concerned. This is the kind of cast of characters they used to do in 1980s or 1990s cartoons, with almost every race, gender, national origin, accent, etc. represented, and maybe a disabled character, and nowadays sexual orientation is another diverse angle thrown in. But, they’re missing an old person. First, the MCU gets rid of one of the few roles in blockbuster films for an elderly man or woman by casting Aunt May with a very youthful-looking woman in her 50s, and then they miss checking the “senior citizen” box in the Eternals. At least the next Shazam movie found a part for Helen Mirren.

    Then, of course, it probably could’ve been predicted who the “safe” choice to make the villain would be. It doesn’t make the characters or the movie bad, but maybe throw in a line to explain that the Celestial needed a group of Eternals who could blend in anywhere on the planet. I think some of their accents wouldn’t have existed at the time they were created, so I’m not sure that could be explained. Phastos has a perfect modern American dialect thousands of years before anything like that existed. Sign language is only about 400 years old, apparently, so I’m not sure if they showed Makkari using it before then.

    I think if they could get this down to 6 or so characters, the movie could’ve been tightened up and made better. You need Sersi and Ikaris for sure. And I think they, along with Ajak, feel like the most developed characters in the movie. Sprite’s story seemed like maybe it belonged in another movie. Did we need a subplot about a kid being depressed that she can’t grow up? Especially since it was thrown in so late in the movie, along with the very last-minute notion that an Eternal could be “converted” into a human, which seems like a real stretch given how they were made. So she could have been written out easily. Druig did nothing important in the movie, so he could easily go also. Kingo didn’t really do anything important, but he was funny, so maybe merge Phastos’ character into his. Makkari just hanging out on the ship for all those years seemed to be kind of pointless. I liked the actress, but if they just used a device on the ship to locate the new Celestial, she wouldn’t have been needed in the story. Thena is, of course, played by a real-life goddess, so it’s hard to take her out of the movie. And she obviously contained an important plot point. I do wish she had been fleshed out more, other than just being a pretty generic badass warrior. There was the potential to do something with her relationship with Gilgamesh, but that didn’t seem to be given much depth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I actually appreciated the inclusion of ten characters but you’re right, it would’ve been much easier to follow with about the same amount of characters as Guardians of the Galaxy.

      Like

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