Tag Archives: Universal Pictures

‘Jurassic World: Dominion’ Is Terrible

This past weekend I watched the newest Jurassic World movie and for little kids it was a fun ride at theaters but as an adult…it was honestly one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen.

Dominion finds a way to bring back the OG trio whose role in the film comes a bit naturally but the way they’re utilized in the movie feels like the screenwriters are winking at us the whole time. There is not a single moment of magic in this film. Every scene plays the same, every outcome is predictable, and every moment is annoying.

Dominion has garnered the worst Rotten Tomatoes score in the entire franchise (30%) and it deserves it. It’s a terrible film that treats its audience as if they can throw dinosaurs in our face and we’ll be pleased and honestly, that’s not true.

I’m giving this movie 2 out of 5 stars and 70 out of 100. I would’ve given it a lower score if it hadn’t made me laugh so much because that’s how ridiculous it was.

I thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day.

Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill Should Not Die in ‘Jurassic World: Dominion’!

Jurassic World: Dominion is coming out in less than two months and that means we’re less than two months away from seeing the classic trio together again for this grand finale. Following the footsteps of other franchises, they’re bringing the iconic characters back played by Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Jeff Goldblum. And while that’s exciting (and probably the best thing for this next movie considering how bad Fallen Kingdom was) it worries me for one MAJOR reason.

Continue reading Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, and Sam Neill Should Not Die in ‘Jurassic World: Dominion’!

‘F9: The Fast Saga’ Is Undoubtedly the Worst ‘Fast and Furious’ Movie I’ve Seen

I’ve been waiting for months for F9: The Fast Saga so I could see the continuation of the story and so that I could determine for myself how bad or good this movie would be. Unfortunately, it’s just as bad as everyone says, if not worse.

F9' Delivers Big, Dumb, Fun Escapism | KPBS

F9: The Fast Saga does something no other Fast and the Furious movie has done, try to take itself seriously.

Yes, there were some emotional storylines in some of the films and The Fate of the Furious had a lot of drama but it never lost grasp of what was really important; fast and furious action scenes. This movie only has one exhilarating action scene, the first one, and then from there it turns into a long sappy film that deals with Dom having to reckon with his past in the form of his brother, John Cena a.k.a Jakob.

Why did they have to make John Cena his brother again? Why couldn’t he have been just another villain because that unrealistic connection between Dom and Jakob absolutely RUINED the movie!

The heavy amount of sentimental flashbacks completely took away from the flow of the story, Han is back but why, the characters have officially become superheroes in cars because they are freaking indestructible (even dead characters are returning to save the day), and don’t even get me started on the shoot-a-car-into-space mission.

By the end of this movie I wasn’t even smiling anymore, it was that bad. The humor fell flat and became annoying as it tried to gloss over what was clearly ludicrous (no pun intended) on the screen. The emotional context between Dom and Jakob was next-level bad. And the secret-weapon-that-will-destroy-the-world-plotline was just…uninteresting.

The Fast and the Furious films have now crossed a threshold where they need to stop making movies or they’ll only make the story worse and worse. Unfortunately, it’s already been announced that there will be two more movies and considering F9 made $700 million worldwide during a global pandemic! Yeah, this ridiculousness is nowhere close to over.

I’m giving F9: The Fast Saga 1.5 out of 5 stars (the .5 is for a really well-written Star Wars joke in the film that actually was kind of perfect) and 67 out of 100.

(muttering to myself: “And just when I started to like these movies…”)

I thank you for reading and I hope you have a spectacular day.

‘Nobody’ Is a Classic Action Movie With a Fun Twist

Nobody isn’t the type of movie you haven’t seen before. The story feels like John Wick (an unassuming guy gets his life upended and turns into an invincible super-killing machine) and Taken (the “unassuming guy” is an old popular male actor, this being Bob Odenkirk) have been mashed together, taking the best of both worlds and making it fun.

This isn’t surprising considering that the screenwriter who wrote Nobody is Derek Kolstad, the man who actually created John Wick and gave us one of the greatest action franchises of all time with one of Hollywood’s true action stars, Keanu Reeves.

Nobody Movie Quotes - Funtastic Life

The film can be funny at times, if you’re a fan of extremely violent action sequences like John Wick this movie will satisfy that yearning, and the main character is likable enough where you want to root for him. Heck, I want Odenkirk in a Marvel film, he was that awesome. But unlike John Wick which finds a way to take itself very seriously from start to finish, Nobody gets a bit lost in the weeds with a predictable Russian antagonist who has a not-that-mighty miniature army and a storyline that gets a bit too on the nose and corny in the end.

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Movie Review Flashback: Why, ‘Warcraft’, Why?

Remember nearly two and a half years ago when Warcraft, the film based on the highly-enjoyable, very popular MMO called World of Warcraft, charged into theaters? And remember when it turned out to be a flop, overall making a profit at least worldwide but proving the point that games can’t be turned into live-action films? Well, I missed Warcraft in the movie theaters two years ago but I did manage to see it when it was released digitally. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it at all. I was mortified that a game so epic could be turned into a movie so horrid and I vowed to never watch it again. Jump forward to this month and I somehow managed to get the nerve to watch it again.

Have you ever watched a movie, thought it was awful, and then watched it again and actually enjoyed it? Well, this was what I was hoping would happen on my second viewing of the film. It did not happen. I was able to enjoy it a little more than I did last time, for I was kind of able to grasp what the world was going on in its very confusing storyline, but overall I came away from the movie disappointed yet again.

And what makes it so agonizing is the film could’ve easily been a good movie but it had too many problems.

Continue reading Movie Review Flashback: Why, ‘Warcraft’, Why?

‘Little’ Is the Wholesome Comedy That I Expected

I love a good comedy and last year’s Little was one that caught my eye. The concept–an uber-mean and wealthy boss is turned into a kid and has to deal with life as a child, was interesting enough to make me want to see the film. Yesterday, that is exactly what my family and I did and we loved it from beginning to end.

Yes, the movie is predictable but there are some legitimately funny moments throughout the entire film. The writing is well-done, the pop culture references are spot-on, the movie veers into Corny-ville every now and then, but at the film’s conclusion, my family and I couldn’t hide the happy tears that were beginning to form in our eyes.

Sometimes a good movie doesn’t involve a complex storyline with plot twists and tear-jerkingly emotional scenes that add to the already-riveting drama. Sometimes a good movie is one that simply makes you smile from beginning to end. Little did that for me.

I’m giving this movie 91 out of 100 and 4 out of 5 stars. It wasn’t perfect but it sure was entertaining.

I thank you for reading and I hope you have a spectacular day.